Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
