Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i dont even know how to be here
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
