I don't usually arrange sex via text message
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
