im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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