He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I came so hard my ears popped.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
