what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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