He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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