I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
