You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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