Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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