yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
