This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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