I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
