some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
