It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
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