you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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