I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
