If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
