Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
bring money and cleavage
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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