Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
