TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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