real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Randomize
