She's JV to your varsity
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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