she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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