So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
