Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
