Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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