i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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