I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
