He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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