so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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