when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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