Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
false alarm, still single
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
