Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
