Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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