Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
