Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I cockslap morals
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
