Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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