? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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