Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
