the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
