i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
