grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
