why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
