This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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