Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
