if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Randomize
