I woke up to her vacumming the grass
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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