Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
