I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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