I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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