Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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