I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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