now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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