I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
