I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
