She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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