Someone shit on the floor
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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