I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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