I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
