He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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